I love weddings, yes. But marriage is what it’s really all about. You know… I cry a little at every wedding I shoot. I do! Because marriage is something that requires all of you. It’s not just the fulfillment of dreams. It’s the promise that must be renewed daily in every day action. The wedding day is a thrill and a blur of emotions. But daily married life is where the rubber meets the road, where two people who are different in every way come together and make a whole new thing. It’s a beautiful picture of an even greater reality, but it’s a hard kind of beauty on many occasions.
“In any relationship, there will be frightening spells in which your feelings of love dry up. And when that happens you must remember that the essence of marriage is that it is a covenant, a commitment, a promise of future love. So what do you do? You do the acts of love, despite your lack of feeling. You may not feel tender, sympathetic, and eager to please, but in your actions you must BE tender, understanding, forgiving and helpful. And, if you do that, as time goes on you will not only get through the dry spells, but they will become less frequent and deep, and you will become more constant in your feelings. This is what can happen if you decide to love.”
― Timothy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God
I’m thankful that even through the hard stuff, I have a partner in life that I am going to not only grow old with, but grow up with into the person I am meant to be. Marriage is not the be all and end all of a life. It’s not a goal, but a gift, but it’s not even the ultimate gift. It’s just one of many tools God uses in our lives to illuminate for us the places where we need realignment. The changes it forces, the challenges it presents, the sometimes painful mirrors we have to look into in order to see ourselves as we really are… totally dependent creatures, dependent on God and dependent on one another in community.
Weddings are a beautiful picture of two totally differents, differents in practically every way, coming together to make a new single new different thing. It’s cataclysmic when you really think about it. The two become one flesh.
(Picture is of the new thing that came into being when my hubby and I said I do almost 19 years ago.)